Change

I’ve been completely absent from the internet for the last three months and for those of you who have worried about me, I apologise for the concern I’ve caused. It’s been a difficult time for me and I’m very sorry to tell you, I’ve sad news to share.

After twenty three years of life together, Karen and I separated in early October, to follow our individual paths and forge new lives on our own. While this is not easy for either of us, the separation has been mutual and respectful. We did not wish this for our marriage and it’s dreadful this has come to be. We are deeply saddened.

We sought outside help to facilitate understanding for us and maybe a reconciliation but sadly, it was clear this was not be. Through our lengthy and painful conversations, we identified neither of us have been truly happy in our relationship for a considerable time. We have accepted in order for us to lead fulfilled and individually happy lives, we needed to make the difficult decision to remain together or not.

I’m afraid there is little else for me to tell without entering the private realm of Karen’s and my conversations and discussions. I do not feel good about this situation and I carry recriminations regarding my shortcomings in how I relate, the kind of man I am and my constant depressive countenance. I know I am not an easy person to be with.

My future while unclear at the moment, holds the promise of a return to a simple lifestyle again. I will most definitely have to live a frugal lifestyle and one which is transient in nature. I will become a ‘van lifer’ until a route for me to follow becomes clear. I will make my living from my passive online income streams with many plans for developing these and introducing new ones in the future. I will no longer be a Mulleach (Isle of Mull resident) and plan to explore Scotland, seeking new adventures and opportunities.

My clinical depression remains a looming factor in my life. I’ve taken the decision to use this opportunity to square up to the illness and refuse to allow it to define my life ahead of me. I will no longer receive community mental health support and will rely on my internal resources to keep me well. I’m hoping the focus required to ensure I find a new life will provide me the motivation to overcome any depressive interludes.

I will most definitely continue with my plan to undertake my ‘Four Corners’ expedition, beginning on the 1st January 2025. I’m confident this will give me the impetus and the space to determine the life I wish to pursue.

Out of adversity comes opportunity. This is a deeply sad moment in my life and one full of regret and self-directed anger. However, I have a chance to reset myself, so I’m open to encountering the happiness and fulfilment I’ve been searching for.

I appreciate all the kindness and concern many of you have shown me and I truly value your continued interest in me. I’m certain you will appreciate and understand my current inconsistencies as I face the uncertainty ahead of me.

Thank you.